Healthy Relationships
Information for Parents and Carers
Learning about friendships and relationships is an important part of growing up. Children and young people develop relationships with family members, friends, classmates, teammates and, as they get older, romantic partners.
Healthy relationships help children feel safe, respected, valued and supported. Parents and carers play an important role in helping children understand what healthy relationships look like and how to recognise when something does not feel right.
Talking openly about relationships from an early age can help children build confidence, understand boundaries and know where to get help if they are worried.
What is a Healthy Relationship?
Healthy relationships are built on:
- Kindness.
- Respect.
- Trust.
- Honesty.
- Understanding.
- Feeling safe.
- Listening to each other.
In a healthy relationship, children and young people should:
- Feel respected.
- Be able to say “no”.
- Feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
- Be treated fairly.
- Feel supported and valued.
Healthy relationships should make children feel good about themselves, not scared, worried or controlled.
Healthy Friendships
Friendships are often a child’s first experience of relationships outside the family.
Healthy friendships usually involve:
- Having fun together.
- Respecting each other’s feelings.
- Being kind.
- Solving disagreements fairly.
- Supporting one another.
- Respecting boundaries.
Not every disagreement is a problem. Children are still learning how relationships work and sometimes need support to understand how to manage conflict and friendships.
Healthy Relationships Online
Children and young people spend a lot of time online and often form friendships and relationships through gaming, social media and messaging apps.
Healthy online relationships should make children feel:
- Safe.
- Respected.
- Comfortable.
- Included.
Children should never feel pressured to:
- Share personal information.
- Send photos or videos.
- Keep secrets from trusted adults.
- Do things that make them uncomfortable.
Parents should remain interested in their child’s online world and encourage open conversations about online friendships and relationships.
Understanding Consent
Consent means agreeing to something freely and feeling comfortable with that decision.
Children and young people should understand that:
- They can say “no”.
- Other people can say “no”.
- Nobody should pressure them into doing something they do not want to do.
- Everyone deserves to have their choices respected.
Helping children understand boundaries and consent supports healthy and respectful relationships.
How Can Parents and Carers Help?
You can help your child by:
- Talking regularly about friendships and relationships.
- Encouraging open conversations.
- Listening without judgement.
- Asking questions such as:
- “How did that make you feel?”
- “Do you think that was fair?”
- “What would you do if that happened again?”
- Helping children understand respect and kindness.
- Modelling healthy relationships at home.
The NSPCC recommends having short, calm conversations about relationships in everyday situations rather than waiting for a problem to occur.
Signs a Child May Need Help
A child or young person may need support if they:
- Become withdrawn or anxious.
- Stop seeing friends or family.
- Spend all their time with one particular person.
- Seem frightened of upsetting somebody.
- Become secretive about friendships or relationships.
- Lose confidence.
- Become increasingly upset after using social media or messaging apps.
- Are being asked to send photos, messages or personal information.
- Seem controlled by someone else.
- Suddenly change their behaviour or friendship group.
These signs do not always mean there is a problem, but they may indicate that a child needs support.
Teenage Relationships
As children grow older, relationships become more complex.
Healthy teenage relationships should still include:
- Respect.
- Trust.
- Kindness.
- Honesty.
- Feeling safe.
An unhealthy relationship may involve:
- Controlling behaviour.
- Extreme jealousy.
- Pressure to do things they are not comfortable with.
- Constant checking of phones or social media.
- Threats or intimidation.
- Sexual pressure.
- Emotional manipulation.
Relationship abuse is never the young person’s fault.
What is Harmful Sexual Behaviour?
Children are naturally curious as they grow and learn about relationships and their bodies.
Sometimes sexual behaviour can become inappropriate, unsafe or harmful. This is known as Harmful Sexual Behaviour (HSB).
Examples may include:
- Sexual behaviour that is not appropriate for the child’s age.
- Sexualised language beyond what would be expected for their age.
- Sending or receiving sexual images.
- Sexual behaviour that causes fear, upset or harm to another child.
- Behaviour involving pressure, secrecy or coercion.
Children displaying harmful sexual behaviour often need support, guidance and understanding.
If You Are Worried About Your Child's Behaviour
If you notice behaviour that worries you:
- Stay calm.
- Avoid blaming or shaming.
- Talk openly with your child.
- Seek advice early.
- Remember that children can learn and change with the right support.
Worrying behaviour does not mean a child is “bad” or dangerous. It may mean they need help understanding relationships, boundaries and appropriate behaviour.
What Should You Do If You Are Worried?
You can:
- Talk to your child about your concerns.
- Speak to staff at their school or college.
- Contact your local Family Hub.
- Contact specialist services for advice and support.
- Seek safeguarding advice if you believe a child is at risk.
If you are worried about a child’s safety, do not wait to seek help.
Support Available in South Tyneside
Family Hubs
Family Hubs offer support with:
- Parenting.
- Relationships.
- Children’s wellbeing.
- Family support.
SURT (Stopping Unsafe Relationships Together)
SURT supports young people aged 11-24 who may be experiencing:
- Unhealthy relationships.
- Relationship abuse.
- Exploitation.
- Coercive behaviour.
- Harmful sexual behaviour.
SURT helps young people understand healthy relationships, recognise warning signs and know where to go for help.
NSPCC
The NSPCC provides advice and support for parents, carers and young people.
Helpline: 0808 800 5000
Stop It Now!
Stop It Now! provides confidential advice if you are worried about a child’s sexual behaviour or are unsure whether behaviour may be harmful.
Telephone: 0808 1000 900
Domestic Abuse Support
Support is available for children, young people and families experiencing unhealthy or abusive relationships.
Worried About a Child?
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is not safe:
South Tyneside Children and Families Social Care
Telephone: 0191 424 5010
Out of Hours: 0191 456 2093
Emergency
Call 999 if a child is in immediate danger.
Key Message
Healthy relationships help children feel safe, respected and valued. Parents and carers can make a big difference by talking openly about friendships, relationships, boundaries and consent. If something does not feel right, trust your instincts and seek advice. Early support can help children develop safe, positive and respectful relationships throughout their lives.